


Applied Physics

by TradeMark_Deception



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Because there's not enough douchestuck out there, Douchestuck, FOR MY BEST FRIEND/SENPAI, High School, M/M, YOU'RE AMAZING I LOVE YOU, guess this is gonna be a mini-fic, this was supposed to be a oneshot, welp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4541211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TradeMark_Deception/pseuds/TradeMark_Deception
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are so fucking done.  Your name is Dirk Strider, you’re a junior and that means you take the worst possible class out of all the shit high school can throw at you.</p>
<p>Physics.</p>
<p>Just to be clear, you don’t hate the subject, in fact, it’s one of your favorites after Robotics.  The reason why you hate Physics actually has a name and sits next to you.  And constantly tries to get in your pants.</p>
<p>Jake Fucking English.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So Fucking Done

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my best friend/senpai who starts school again today so I decided to write this for her to keep her entertained on her first day of school. This was actually supposed be a oneshot but that didn't work out so this is going to a mini-fic. Hope all y'all enjoy.
> 
> (Especially you, you lil' shit (you know who you are)! Enjoy this! I wanted to surprise you this! Love you!)

You are so fucking done.  Your name is Dirk Strider, you’re a junior and that means you take the worst possible class out of all the shit high school can throw at you.

_Physics._

Just to be clear, you don’t hate the subject, in fact, it’s one of your favorites after Robotics.  The reason why you hate Physics actually has a name and sits next to you.  And constantly tries to get in your pants.

_J_ _ake Fucking English._

And surprisingly that’s not even the _main_ reason why you hate Physics.  You mainly hate Physics because you _know_ that _he’s_ faking failing all those tests.  You’ve literally _seen_ him put the correct answers then purposely change them to wrong ones.  And you know why he’s doing it too.  He’s doing it because he knows you’re the best in Physics and that if he fails _you_ will have to tutor him.

And guess what happened after class yesterday.  Now you’re going to have to spend an extra hour and a half with this douche every day because he’s purposefully failing so he can get extra to try and get in your pants.

You do give him credit for how thought through his plan is even if it’s really fucking stupid.

You let out an irritated sigh that has your brother Dave glancing at you with narrowed eyes before returning to his attention to his blog on his phone as you walk through the halls after school.  You reluctantly stop when you reach the door to the Physics room.  You watch in envy as Dave continues walking down the halls so he can leave this hell.

Without even looking up from his phone he calls over his shoulder, “Have fun with your boyfriend!”

“Have fun dealing with yours!”  You snark back.

“Hope you choke!”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s illegal!”

You are going to kick his ass.  Later.  First you have to deal with another ass.

You glance through the window to see the current bane of your existence sitting there in his normal sit taking a fucking selfie.  You honestly are surprised he doesn’t own a selfie stick or some shit.

Honestly, you’re kind of curious to see what crap he’s going to pull on you now that’s he’s managed to get this far.  You admit, you’re a little apprehensive considering how little he seemed to care about your personal space even while in a room full of people.  He’s actually managed to get away with quite a lot because you two happen to sit in the very back of class.  His favorite little advances are asking for help when you both know he knows the answer and he leans way too close into your personal space or sitting really close to you or brushing his leg against in a way that’s way too obvious to be anywhere close to subtle.  You could handle all that, but then he upped his game and actually started getting more invasive, putting his arm around you to hold you in place when he’d start to tried and flirt with you.  You’ve kindly told him to fuck off several times but his popular rich kid pride won’t stand for that obviously.

With one last irritated groan you open the door to your personal hell.  He perks up instantly when you walk in.

“Perfectly on time, wouldn’t suspect anything less from you Strider.”

You shoot him a glare, “English.”

He fakes a gasp, “Don’t be pissy, I haven’t done anything.”

You look at him unamused, “Yet.”

He smirks and shrugs before leaning back in his chair, “You gonna join me or stand on the other side of the room?  Not like I really care, I’ll enjoy the view either way.”

You roll your eyes, “I know you’re faking it.”

There’s a split second when his eyes widen in alarm but he corrects himself and smirks smugly again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You walk across the room to the table English is sitting at but you make sure to stay on the opposite side of him.

“Your test scores.”

His eyes widen again but his eyes narrow at you.  You must admit that’s first.

“What about them?”

You let out an amused huff and roll your eyes again, “I’m not stupid, I literally sit next to you, I can _see_ you mark the right answers then change them to wrong ones.  Did you think I wouldn’t figure that out?”

English glares at you for little bit more but you can see alarm rising in his eyes.  He huffs in defeat and your pride swells.

But then English speaks up, “Well what are you going to do?  You’re already here.”

You smirk, “Who said I’ll show up next time?”

He smirks right back, “You can do that but it would be a shame if Miss were to find out wouldn’t it?  After all, she looks at you with so much respect.”

He’s got you cornered.  From that moment you decide you hate this bastard more than anything else in your life.

* * *

 

The next two weeks during “tutoring” you two sit on opposite sides of the room and don’t talk at all but English every now and then will glance at you beyond that he doesn’t really talk to you.  After that you start noticing him purposely getting better scores on his assignments to make it look like your “tutoring” is helping.

But what really catches your attention is how English stops trying to flirt with you, starts giving you more space and in general just leaves you alone.  It honestly bothers you more than when he wouldn’t stop trying to get in your pants.

Three weeks after the “tutoring” started you start observing what English even does during the hour and a half you’re supposed to be working.  He brings a tablet, puts in headphones, and does something that has him either laughing or biting his lip.  To be honest your curiosity is starting to get the better of you, you really want to know what he does on his tablet.

One day you get an opening.  You walk into the classroom to see English with his headphones in, tablet out and his back facing you.  Quietly you walk behind him and look over his shoulder.  He’s watching fucking Tomb Raider.  Before you can stop yourself you fall out laughing.

The sudden sound of your laughter startles English so much he almost drops his tablet.

“Bloodly hell!’

Holy shit.  He’s got an accent.  That’s fucking _perfect_.  You start laughing even harder.

English stares at you in mild horror and shock, “What the hell?”

Between laughs you gasp out, “This is fucking _rich_!”

His expression doesn’t change, “What is?”

You start catching your breath, “Dude, you’re the most popular douche in this hellhole and you’re actually a fucking nerd.  That’s hilarious.”

He blinks before blushing and looking away, “So what?”

You laugh again, “Dude that’s _great_.”

He blush darkens but he doesn’t say anything so you continue talking.

“Seriously, though.  Tomb Raider, really?  You’re such a nerd!  You have a fucking British accent.  Don’t give me that look!  Yes I heard it.”

He sighs in defeat but you guess he tries to carry on his douchebag persona, “Oh yeah?  What else have you noticed?’

You snicker, “You’re wearing contacts.”

He blinks and his accent slips into his voice when he replies, “How in god’s name-?”

“The way the light hit your eyes when you looked away.”

He looks at you for a good while before sighing, “What do you want?’

You shrug, “I don’t know.” You answer honestly.

You two just look at each other for a bit before you turn and walk over to your normal chair.  You two don’t talk for the rest of the hour.  When times up you get all your stuff and walk over to the door.  You’re about to open the door but without thinking you look back over at English who’s still getting all his stuff together.

“Hey English.”

He looks up almost immediately, and without thinking you say,

“You sound better with your accent.”

And with that you turn and walk out the door but you cast a glance back at English before the door closes, his face is bright red.  You laugh under your breath as you walk away.

 


	2. Not As Fucking Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a second chapter. Yeah... That's basically it, but I've realized I'm making a legit plot for this. This is way I can't write mini-fics. Anyways, this is again for my best friend/senpai, hope you enjoy this you lil' shit! And I hope everyone else enjoys this too! I love you all you lovely people (especially you you lil' shit)!

Your name is Dirk Strider and holy crap Jake English is a fucking nerd.  Honestly every time you think about it, it makes you laugh.  Granted, you yourself are a nerd but he’s a totally different story.  How is he even popular?  Are the people that worship him that dense that they can’t see his geekiness?  Seriously, it’s beyond you.

And now ever since your discovery of Mister _“I only wear Gucci, thank you very much bitch”_ being a total nerd he’s become Mister _“I’m just gonna sit here watching Tomb Raider and Avatar because I totally don’t need tutoring at all”_.  That’s been the case for the past week except for today.

Today you walk in the Physics class to see English already on his tablet watching some (mildly decent, you admit) action flick.  You just walk over to the table you usually sit at and pull out two notebooks from your backpack and start working on your little project you’ve working on since you were thirteen.  One notebook (the one on your left) has possible sketches of a chassis that you’ve thinking about.  The second notebook (the one on your right) is more a journal than anything, detailing all the progress you have made and what you’ve done programming wise and all the bugs you have encountered so far.

You really if-y about creating a chassis for your project because you’re a perfectionist and if you made a chassis you would have to create the programming so that your project could have all five senses.  That’s a lot more work than you could probably do (by yourself at least) and considering all the shit the project’s putting you through already just with the normal programming itself, you have your doubts.

You doubt that you’ll finish the project before you finish high school.  You’re trying to build an artificially intelligent program.  Yeah, that sounds pretty bad considering the rep Hollywood’s given the idea but you’ve managed to make three semi-artificially intelligent androids complete with chassis already so you figured you would try.  You really didn’t think you make this a long-term goal but look at you now.

You’ve named the project Lil’ Hal after Dave joked about you making another Hal from Space Odyssey.  You have the very basic programming done already you are currently working on getting the program to analyze different languages and translate and understand them so that way you “teach” the program to “speak” and “read”.  After that than you can start test running the program to see if it runs properly than it will be like raising a kid, you’ll have to teach it like you would with a kid.  That will be interesting.  Granted you even get that far, the program’s giving you hell already and you haven’t even gotten the program to analyze and understand English.

Just thinking about the project too long gives you a headache.  You let out an aggravated groan and bang your head against the desk.  You can hear English moving and walking over to you but you don’t move.

“Uh, you alright there?”

You let out an intelligible noise in response.

You can hear English reach over you and grab one of your notebooks.

“What’s this?”

“It’s for Robotics.” You reply.

English’s voice is completely deadpan as he responds, “I’m not stupid, there’s no way this is for Robotics.”

You slowly raise your head and pinch the bridge of your nose.  You don’t really want to deal with anything right now but, of course, English has to ask questions.

“Seriously, what is this?”

“Personal project.”  You snap and pluck the notebook out of English’s hands.  Shit, he grabbed the one with the sketches of the possible chassis.

He just raises an eyebrow at you completely unamused.

You let out a sigh in defeat and explain, “I’m trying to make an A.I. with a chassis.  I’ve been working on it for years.”

English’s jaw practically unhinges when your words register.  You’re half expecting him to make some remark about how “bad” making an A.I. would possibly be, you aren’t expecting him to break out into a smile and sit down on the table.

“That’s amazing!”

He doesn’t even try to resume his persona instead he continues to grin at you.  You don’t even know how you’re supposed to react.

“Um, thanks?”

He doesn’t even react to your hesitance.

“How many years have you been working on this project?”

“Four years now.”

He whistles softly and hops off the table and walks around behind you.

“What are you working on now?”

You don’t know why but you’re starting to feel less apprehensive around him and you’re answering less tensely.

“Programming, I’m planning to build the chassis later.”

“That’s got to be hard to build,” He motions to the latest sketch of the chassis you’ve drawn.

You shrug, “Not really, the chassis is the easiest to build honestly.”

You turn and look at him to see his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

“Really?”

You answer before you can think about it, “Yeah, I mean I’ve built a couple of semi-intelligent androids.”

English’s smile grows in disbelief, “You’re kidding.”

His accent’s starting to make an appearance and your ego’s growing with his curiosity.

“Nope, I’ve made three.”

“Wow.”

Your ego is just blowing up and you’re starting to brag now.  But English’s next question turns you completely off guard.

“Can you- uh, do you have a picture of them?  I mean, um, can you show me one of them?”

Suddenly, you’re self-conscious.  No one outside your family and the Lalondes have seen your bots.  You shallow thickly and English catches your nervousness.

“You don’t have to show me!”

You shake your head before you can stop yourself and reply, “I can actually bring one of them tomorrow if you want.”

What the hell are you saying?

English smiles, “Awesome!”

And for some reason you find yourself smiling back.

* * *

 

The next day, you walk into the Physics room to see English sitting in a chair not doing anything.  When he sees you he perks up but bites his lip before asking something.

You answer his unspoken question, “Come here, I got something to show you.”

He nearly jumps out of his seat to follow to your table.  You put down your backpack and take out your most recent bot, Lil’ Seb as Roxy jokingly named it.  It’s a foot tall bunny looking robot that’s very well taken of just like your other two robots.

English laughs lightly as you place Lil’ Seb on the table.

“He’s kind of cute.”

You smirk, “Don’t say that when I turn him on.”

He laughs again before asking, “How’d you get him in the school?”

Your smirk grows, “Very carefully.”

Before English can say anything else you activate Lil’ Seb.  There’s a moment where Lil’ Seb just sits there before suddenly (and literally) jumping to life.  The little robot looks around obviously trying to figure out where it’s at.  While the little robot looks around English stares at it in awe before turning to you.

“That’s incredible!  Are the others you’ve made like this one?”

You nod, “Yeah, would’ve brought them too but their a little too big to hide.”

English turns his attention back to Lil’ Seb and mutters, “Wow.”

Suddenly Lil’ Seb notices English’s presense and looks at you while cocking it’s head to the side and pointing at English in curiosity.  You know what Lil’ Seb’s asking.

_Is that the douche-y English guy you complain about?_

You smile at the robot and nod.  Of course you’ve talked and vented to your robots before especially Lil’ Seb so he knows who English is based off your description.

Lil’ Seb turns back to English and starts stalking up to English but you push Lil’ Seb back with your hand.  The robot looks at you in confusion.

You shake your head and smile, “Nah, man.  He’s cool now.”

You glance at English, who smiles before full-on beaming at you and you can’t help but smile back.  Leaving Lil’ Seb standing there in complete confusion.


	3. So Fucking Done With Different People's Bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this thing's now got a legit plot with character development and everything. That happened. Anyways, I actually really like writing this oh my god! Imaginary points to the people who can tell me the differences in how Dirk addresses Jake in this chapter (hint: there's two differences).
> 
> Anyways, again this is for my best friend/senpai! Still love ya you lil' shit! Enjoy!

Your name is Dirk Strider and as it turns out Jake English is actually pretty decent.  You guess you’re friends now.  Ever since you showed him Lil’ Seb around two weeks ago you two having actually been talking to each other during your little “tutoring” sessions.  And you two can actually help each other with other classes because he may be good in Physics but he needs help Algebra II which you are pretty good at.  But as it turns out he’s really good in Economics and has helped you with homework for Economics a couple of times.

When he talks to you he doesn’t even try to hide his accent anymore.  He’s learned to combat your dry sarcasm with an amused smile.  Sometimes you wonder how his cheeks don’t hurt from all the smiling he does.

You might actually like him.

You still haven’t come to terms with that thought completely considering that for the majority of last year and the beginning of this year you were avoiding as much as possible because was trying to get into your pants.  But he’s stopped ever since the “tutoring” started.  It really confuses you and you’re not sure how to feel about because almost all of your mind says that Jake’s actually a good guy but there’s still a part of you that screams he once put all his time into trying to get a fuck out of you.  You really want to ask him why he did it but you actually enjoy hanging out with _this_ Jake and you don’t want to fuck that up.

You let out a sigh, you need to stop thinking about this or you’ll give yourself a headache.  You walk into the Physics room and immediately know something’s wrong.  Jake’s sitting in his normal spot but his right side is facing you and he’s leaning against the table with his right arm holding up his head.

“Jake?”

He tenses but doesn’t move.  You move and close the door.

“Oh, sorry mate.  I didn’t hear you come in.”

His voice lacks all emotion.  He just sounds tired.  _Empty_.

“What’s wrong?”

He still doesn’t move.

“I’m fine.”

You walk over to him, he flinches when you speak again.

“That’s not what I asked, Jake.”

“Nothing.”

“Jake.”

You squat on the opposite side of the table that Jake’s on to get eye level with him.  He looks at you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t turn his head.  He sighs in defeat before finally turning his head to you.  Then you realize why he didn’t look at you when you walked in.  His left eye is swollen and bruised and his face in covered in cuts and you know from experience that those wounds are fresh.

Before you can say anything Jake blurts out,

“It’s not that bad.”

But you don’t listen.

“Who the fuck did this?”

“Dirk please-”

“No,” you say sternly, “Who the fuck did this?”

He shakes his head, “There was a group.”

“ _Who_?”

“The people who like the attention they’re going to get for this.”

It takes a second for his words to register through your rising anger.  His _“friends”_.  You forgot he hung out with them.  The popular clique.

“Why?”

He swallows and shakes his head but you press,

“Jake, why did they do this?”

He snaps, “Because if you don’t act the way they want you to, you’re bloody fucking screwed.”

You blink, he just sighs.

“Yesterday I guess some of them decided they wanted to see what we did during tutoring here, I guess they expected something a bit _different_ from us actually getting along and being friends.  They approached me after class today when I was waiting here for you.  I didn’t actually believe that they were here yesterday but they showed me pictures then well _this_ happened.”

As soon as he finishes, Jake turns away and wipes his eyes and laughs bitterly before standing and getting a tissue.

“The popular group, you’re either forced out of it or you’re forced into it.”

You’ve never heard something as true as that before.  You walk up behind Jake and put a hand on his shoulder, he lets out a pitiful laugh in response.  You gently turn him around and look over the injuries on his face.  During the time you were talking his eye’s gotten worse.  You mutter an absentminded “fuck” before letting Jake go and walking over to the mini fridge Miss keeps in the class.  You mentally thank Miss for being a science teacher and owning a small freezer with an ice compartment.  You take out a sandwich bag from one of the cabinets above you and fill it with ice before walking over to Jake handing him the makeshift ice pack and placing it on his eye.

You look over Jake’s injuries again and you don’t ignore the fact he won’t look you in the eyes.  You sigh before walking to the back of the classroom where the chemicals are kept.  You silently thank Miss for also being really absentminded and always losing her keys meaning she always keeps everything unlocked at all costs.  You open a cabinet and take out some rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide before returning to Jake and grabbing some tissues.

You start putting hydrogen peroxide on some tissues and without looking up you say to Jake quietly, “Sit.”

He sits back down silently his eyes still avoiding yours.  You start tending to his injuries in silence save the small hisses of pain he lets out if you press too hard or when the rubbing alcohol stings too much.

Even when you finish he still won’t meet your gaze.  You never thought the look someone _wasn’t_ giving you could break your heart.

“Fuck, Jake.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize mate.  It’s not your fault it’s mine.”

You don’t know how to respond but Jake continues talking.

“I only joined their clique because they took my sister away from me.  When me and my little sister Jade got here we moved in with our grandparents.  Our parents had died in a car accident and we didn’t know anyone here and the popular kids took one look at Jade and they decided to change her.”

“She was pretty and vulnerable and an easy catch to them and then they took her in and completely changed her.  I didn’t like it but I couldn’t do anything about it because they had her convinced that they were really her friends.  I was just the awkward older brother who was too busy mourning to try and make friends and then somewhere in my misery I thought that maybe they weren’t that bad and I should to Jade and join them.”

“And I did, and I hated it.  I _still_ hate it.  If you had anything they thought was “uncool” or would “hurt their image” they made you get rid of it.  If they found it stupid, it was gone in a snap.  If they were jealous of something about you that you couldn’t change permanently or get rid of, they found a way to make sure it was changed in some way.  That’s why I wear contacts, they didn’t like my actual eye color and my glasses.”

Jake takes a deep breath and takes out his contact from his good eye.  You look at the contact lens and note that its brown.  When you look back up, you’re greeted with the most vibrant green you’ve probably ever seen.  His eyes are literally putting forests to shame and it’s managing to take your breath away in a way you can’t explain.

Jake snaps you back to reality and starts talking again.

“But the real problem is once you’re in, you’re in and you can’t leave.”

Before Jake can continue you finally speak up.

“We’ll get you out.”

“What?”

You look him dead in the eye, “You obviously hate it and they can’t pull shit with anyone.”

Jake swallows thickly, “Really?  You’ll help?”

You reply without any hesitation, “Fuck yes!  They can’t pull this shit especially not with you!”

“Thanks.”

You don’t miss the way Jake flushes slightly at your reaction but you do ignore the way your face heats up a bit.  And suddenly you decide to ask the question that’s been irking you for a while now.

“Is that why you tried hitting on me?  Because they wanted you to?”

Jake drops his head when you ask but he nods.

“Yes, I just happened to mention one day that you’re pretty good-looking and they started pressuring me into trying to, well, you know.  I only ever tried something when they were looking but that doesn’t make what I did right either.”

You practically feel shame rolling off Jake as he answers and you put your hand on his arm and smile softly.

“I figured.”

Jake meets your gaze and smiles back.  But then a question flashes across his face.

“Wait, how are going to get me out?”

You think for a second.

“Do you still have your glasses?”

He laughs, “No, I accidently broke them a while back while visiting a shooting range.”

“Jesus Christ! How did you manage that?”

Jake laughs a little harder, “Long story.”

You laugh too, “Which I look forward to hearing.  Anyways, in that case, do you at least have a pair of normal contacts?”

“Yes, I do have that.”

“Start wearing those and say that your contact got torn in the fight.  And don’t say anything about the fight, hell, say you fought with me or some shit just make them think you’re still their little puppet.”

Jake smile lights up, “That’s brilliant! I’ll do it!”

The rest of the tutoring is spent coming up with the plan to get Jake out of the popular clique.  And somewhere amidst all your joking and planning you end up holding hands with Jake and letting him rest his head against your shoulder when he isn’t doubled over laughing at some snarky comment you’ve made.


	4. Who The Fuck Even Wears Khaki Cargo Shorts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 in which cuteness, fluff, and awkwardness ensue! Seriously, this chapter is so fucking cute! A big thanks to probably_an_egg for alerting me to some mistakes in this! Thanks again, you're great! Anyways this chapter was my favorite to write so far! I hope you all enjoy this!
> 
> (Especially a certain lil' shit whom I love!!!!)

Your name is Dirk Strider and it’s been a couple days since Jake got into the fight with his “friends”.  It’s also been a couple days since you and Jake put into action your plan to get him out of the popular clique.  And so far, it’s working.  Jake’s stopped wearing the brown contacts and has started wearing plain contacts and he says that them seem pretty irritated by that alone.

Man, this is gonna so much fun.

But today you’re really looking forward to your “tutoring” session because you and Jake are going to focus on the next stage of your plan and you’ve got a surprise for him.  It was a bitch to find but you found it and you know he’ll like it.

Okay, maybe you do like Jake.  But it’s not like you’re going to admit it.

You walk into the Physics classroom and greet Jake as you close the door behind you.

“Sup.”

“Hey!”

You walk over and put your stuff down on the table before speaking.

“So I checked the halls and I didn’t see anyone out there so we’re good to go.”

“Great!”

Jake beams and picks up his backpack and you follow suit. 

You smirk, “Ready?”

Jake nods eagerly making you chuckle.  You two walk over to the door and open it.  Jake’s about walk out but you push him back into class.  He gives a confused look and you put a finger up to your lips and wink.  Jake rolls his eyes and laughs before pushing you out the door.

You guys laugh and sass each other as you walk to the bathrooms on the far side of the school.  When you reach the restrooms you two go into different stalls and change clothes.

This is phase two of your plan.  Wardrobe change.  This is all started because Jake mentioned in passing that when he joined the popular kids they made him completely how dressed.  After a couple of well-placed Gucci jokes you got an idea.  You told Jake that today to bring clothes that he would normally wear and you’d do the same and then you guys would work out phase two of the plan.

You had to laugh when Jake seemed surprised that you didn’t actually dress in sweater vests all the time.  When he asked why you wore the sweater vests and stuff if you didn’t actually dress like that you just replied with “Irony” which only confused him more.

You finish changing first so you wait outside the stall and check your phone.  When Jake walks out of his stall you honestly don’t know what to expect.

Your first thoughts when you look at him are _‘Who even wears cargo shorts anymore?’_ and _‘Shit, he actually looks good.  What the fuck, how?’_

Jake actually looks as nerdy as he is.  He’s wearing a skull design t-shirt with a forest green button-up shirt over with the buttons undone and those fucking cargo shorts.  And he may look nerdy but he still looks good and that’s pretty impressive honestly.

But you guess Jake wasn’t expecting you to be wearing black skinny jeans and a black tank top with an orange hat printed on it.  Judging by how he’s staring at you.

You break the silence first with a smirk, “Like what you see?”

Jake immediately flushes and mutters something incoherent but you just laugh and smile because damn he’s cute when he’s flustered.

“But seriously, cargo shorts?”

With that Jake snaps back to normal.

“What about them?”

“Dude, they’re khaki cargo shorts.”

He tries sounding defensive but he’s smiling, “So?”

“Who even wears khaki cargo shorts anymore?”

“I do.”

“You don’t count.”

He grins knowingly, “Why not?"

You hesitate but Jake just laughs.

“Do you want me to change?”

“Nah, it’s good.”

With that you two grab your bags and walk back to the Physics room.  As soon as you close the door behind you Jake turns to you and asks.

“So what’s wrong with khaki cargo shorts?”

You fake a deep sigh and drape an arm over his shoulders, “Jake, my dear friend, what is wrong with khaki cargo shorts you ask?  Well let me educate you.”

You guide Jake towards the white board at the front of the room and pick up a marker and write on the board three lists, _Everything Wrong with Khakis_ , _Everything Wrong with Cargo Shorts_ , and lastly _Everything Wrong with Khaki Cargo Shorts_.  And that’s what you two spend the next hour filling out and by the end of it the whole white board is covered in bullet points and Jake’s on the ground laughing from some of the random shit you wrote down.  You actually have to help him stand up and he hangs onto your arms as he tries to regain enough of his composure.  Once he finishes laughing he doesn’t let go of your arms but his smile fades when he sees the time, your “tutoring” session’s over.

Jake bites his lip before asking, “Um, can you see if you can stay longer?”

You blink before smiling, “Well I drive home so it doesn’t really matter how long I stay.”

Jake beams and for a moment you two just stand there smiling at each other.  But then you two realize you’re still haven’t let go yet and you both awkwardly let go of each other and try to play it off.

“Uh-”

“Well.”

“I gotta-”

“I need to-”

“I should probably let Dave know I’m gonna be here longer.”

“Yeah I should tell Jade I’m gonna be here longer too.”

And with that both of you walk away to get your phones while cringing at your awkwardness.  You send Dave a quick message and turn your ringtone up.  When Jake finishes his text you both just kind of stand there in an awkward silence.  That is until your ringtone goes off and starts playing King Kunta by Kendrick Lamar.  Jake looks at you and blinks.

“You listen to rap?”

“Yeah.” You reply as you reply to Dave.

He grins cheekily as you put your phone down, “Wow, White Boy over here listens to rap.”

“I can rap too.”

Jake laughs in disbelief, “No you can’t.”

“Yes I can.”

He grins, “Prove it.”

You smirk, “Fine.”

You open Spotify on your phone and start playing King Kunta again and start rapping along with the music.

_“I got a bone pick_

_“I don’t want you monkey mouth motherfuckers sittin’ in my throne again_

_“I’m mad but I ain’t stressin’_

_“True friends, one question_

_“Bitch where you when I was walkin’?_

_“Now I run the game got the whole world talkin’,_

_“King Kunta_

_“Everybody wanna cut the legs off him, Kunta_

_“Black man taking no losses.”_

You stop there and smirk smugly at Jake’s disbelieving smile.

“Alright so White Boy can rap.”

“Is that my nickname now?  White Boy?”

Jake laughs, “Yes, from now on I will call you White Boy.”

You smirk, “Fine and I’ll call you Brown Sugar.”

Jake’s facial reaction is priceless, “Oh _god no_.”

You chuckle evilly, “Oh yes.”

“Strider no.”

“Strider yes.”

At this point Jake’s dissolved into laughter for the second time today.  But this time you join in too.  Finally you stop laughing first and watch as Jake calms down.  He looks up and meets your gaze and smiles.  You still can’t get over Jake’s eyes, they stop your breath short every time you see them.

That reminds you.

“Oh yeah, I’ve got something for you.”

You grab your backpack and pull out a rectangular dark green box and hand it to Jake.  He looks between you and the box in confusion before opening the box and letting out a gasp.  It sounds lame but you bought him a pair of glasses.

He takes out the glasses and puts them on the table before taking out his contacts with one hand.  After he takes out his contacts he puts on the glasses and smiles in disbelief.

“How did you-?”

You smile, “Remember on Wednesday you told me the story behind how you managed to break your glasses?  You showed me what your glasses looked like and you were laughing at how for two days you couldn’t see shit because your eyesight was so bad.  And I asked what your prescription was if your eyesight was really that bad and you laughed because you remembered exactly what your prescription was.”

Jake’s jaw drops before he smiles happily at you, “Oh my god.  Thank you, Dirk.”

You smile and shrug, “No big deal.”

You smile at each other for a moment.  You don’t expect Jake to walk over and wrap his arms around your shoulders and pull you into a tight hug.  You blink in surprise and you hear Jake whisper, “Thank you so much.  This means a lot to me.”

You smile softly letting your eyes slip close as you hug Jake back just as tightly and whisper back, “You’re welcome, Jake.”


	5. Super Fucking Short But Super Fucking Important (No We're Not Talking About Jake's Shorts)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's super short but it's super important to the plot of this so yeah. Shout out to probably_an_egg again, seriously you're great! Thanks for your help! Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> (To my lil' shit, sorry it's short but I'm supposed to wake really early but hey! You're two favorite characters finally meet so hope that makes up for it! Love ya! <3)

Your name is Jade Harley and you want out.  You want out of the stupid popular clique.  It took two years for you to realize how terrible they really were but it’s not like you could just leave, it’s never that easy.  You wish it was.  But they had you wrapped their finger.

Keyword, _had_.

This time you are leaving them.  For real.  You’re not just saying that this time.  They will probably hate you and try to hurt you but that doesn’t matter.  No one, _absolutely no one_ , gets away with hurting your family.

What were they thinking?  Did they think Jake wouldn’t tell you what happened?  He’s your brother!  Of course he told you what happened!  You two are probably the closest siblings in the world, you don’t keep anything from each other.

He’s literally told you everything that’s been going on ever since he joined you in the popular clique, everything from how he got pressured into trying to flirt with Dirk and to fail Physics to get Dirk to how they beat him up when they saw him being friends with Dirk.  That was the last straw for you.

Yes, you knew before that that the people in your clique were terrible but you could never even try to leave because they literally left you no time to even _think_ about how you might go about leaving.  Until Jake started telling you about his and Dirk’s plan to get him out and ever since he’s told you about the plan you’ve wanted in on it too.

And so you’ve managed to come up with a little plan to get you to meet Dirk at Jake’s “tutoring” session and talk with them about joining in on their plan.  And that plan goes into action right about now.

“You sure you don’t need a ride?”  Vriska raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously as she looks at you from over her glasses from inside her blue sports car.

You combat her with a fake smug smirk, “Yeah, I got a ride for later.  Besides, you think I’m going to pass up this opportunity to get blackmail material on my brother?”

You nearly gag at your own words but you’ve learned to fake a “popular girl” persona really well.  It also helps that Vriska Serket was the one who roped you into the popular clique to begin with.

Vriska still looks at you suspiciously before shrugging, “Whatever.  I’m still taking you shopping tomorrow, right?”

It’s not a question, it’s more of a command than anything.

You roll your eyes dramatically the way you’ve learned and perfected from being around Vriska so long, “Do you even have to ask anymore?  Of course.”

Satisfied with your response, Vriska grins, “Just checking.  Later bitch.”

And with that she starts her car and drives away but not before casting you a wave through the car window.  Once she’s out of sight you sigh in relief and start heading back into the school.

When you get inside the school you start making your way to the Physics room.  You’re about two doors away from the classroom when you can start making out voices coming from the Physics room.  You gulp nervously, you know that they’ll let you in on the plan but you can’t help but be nervous!

When you reach the door, you hesitate before you work up the nerve to open the door.  As soon as you start opening the door you hear Jake and Dirk go silent.  Once you open the door entirely Jake stands up from his chair and starts walking over to you.

“Jade, are you okay?”

You open your mouth to speak but you can’t of anything to say so instead you meet Jake half way and hug him.

“Jade?”  Jake asks but he hugs you back anyways.

You swallow thickly before actually speaking, “They’re terrible.”

You feel Jake tense, “Did they do something to you?”

You shake your head, “They hurt you.”

“Jade, we talked about this.”

You shake your head again, “No, they hurt you over something stupid and petty and it’s not right!”

“Jade-”

“Thay can’t do that!  I don’t want to be a part of that!  I want out, Jake.”

You pull away and look your older brother dead in the eyes, “I want to get out.”

Jake blinks before smiling at you.  He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

“You better not say I told you so!”

Jake laughs, “Aw, damn.”

You giggle and punch his arm playfully.  Then you realize Jake’s changed out of the clothes he was wearing during school today into the clothes he wears at home.

You laugh into your hand, “Are you really wearing your cargo shorts?”

This prompts a laugh from Dirk who addresses Jake, “Told ya.”

Jake throws his arms up in confusion, “What is it with you people and cargo shorts?”

Dirk smirks, “Dude, they’re fucking ridiculous.”

You laugh as you agree, “Yeah they are!”

“Are not!”  Jake squawks as Dirk walks over to you and holds out a fist.

“Dirk Strider, nice to finally meet ya lil’ lady.”

You laugh and fist bump him in return, “Jade Harley, nice to finally meet you too!”

After that Dirk and Jake help fill you in on the plan and how to get it started for you and then the rest of your time is spent with you and Dirk bashing Jake’s shorts. 

And somewhere between all your laughter you begin coming up with a separate plan.  You are going to play matchmaker.  You are going to make sure Dirk and Jake get together.  Somehow.  But it doesn’t look like you’re going to have to do much.  The thought makes you smile because then you’re brother will be happier you know it and you’ll be happier and you’ll have someone to tag team with against Jake.

But first it looks like you’re going to have to stop Jake from drawing on Dirk’s face with a permanent marker.  Seriously, where did he get the marker?  Wait, is that the ugly purple one?

_Oh my god_.


End file.
